“I dont give no f*cks about anyone knowing my stuff!” Mary Lambert on love and everyday life

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You may know her as the one who sang with Madonna while Queen Latifah wed 33 same sex couples at the 2014 Grammy awards, or perhaps you recognize her as the gal who tugged at your heartstrings saying “I can’t change, even if I tried,” on Macklemore’s equality anthem, Same Love. Ever evolving but never changing for others, Lambert introduced herself to me as someone who lives unapologetically. “I give no f*cks about anyone knowing my stuff!” She says, punctuating with a quick laugh.

Talking to Lambert for the first time was like a therapy session with the quirky best friend that you never knew that you had, by the end of which I felt like opening the window of my apartment and screaming out my deepest darkest secrets without a care. She talked about finding true love, her darkest days in High School when she attempted suicide before finding the courage to come out and accept herself for who she was. The singer, whose new album “Heart On My Sleeve” speaks to early Tina Turner, while borrowing from Adele and Amy Winehouse, also chimes in about the fact that nobody knows she’s missing one of her front teeth. She’s empowering, she would walk over hot coals for her closest friends, and very much like her aptly named album, that she will be performing on her upcoming tour, she proudly wears her heart on her sleeve.

Q: Secrets is a song that most people can relate to, what inspired you to list out your flaws for the world to hear in such a fun jovial way?

Mary Lambert: Secrets is wanting to be freed from stigmas. I was always a trusting kid. My mom used to say ‘Mary you wear your heart on your sleeve and you will get hurt.’ There was a brief stint in my life where I walked around with my guard up and I felt so disconnected and I hated myself. That’s not even close to who I just hyper sensitive and I realized I’m never gonna be somebody cool and tough.  I’m the person that cries at dog food commercials and that’s ok. My whole existence has been that process of getting over the need for constant validation.

Q: Is there a secret about you that nobody knows?

Mary Lambert: I have a fake tooth. It’s one of my front teeth. I was just born without it.  My teeth used to be really crooked then I had pretty serious braces and headgear and they put a fake tooth in.

Q: Did you get teased for that in school?

Mary Lambert: I got teased for a plethora of things but I never realized it.  I was really delusional and I thought I was the most popular girl in school.  Once I got cornered in the locker room by a bunch of girls that held up my pants and I was so delusional about it that I was like ‘on yeah those are a size twelve.’

Q: When did you realize you were being bullied?

Mary Lambert: A couple of years ago.

Q: Your album is filled with love songs.  In When You Sleep you talk about a deep love, have you found that?

Mary Lambert: Yes. I wrote that song after I met my partner Michelle. It’s like when you meet somebody and for the first time it feels like you can take a whole breath.  Its like you have been holding your breath and all of a sudden this person walks in and its like shit you actually exist.  Its like is this real?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Then you get to spend however long it takes to experience that with each other.

Q: What was it like coming out in High School?

Mary Lambert: Coming out at 17 wasn’t easy. But I never felt the world was against me.  The only demons I fought were my relationships with God and my church. I really struggled with the question ‘am I sinning?  Cause I feel really ok with who I am and this is who I am and I don’t feel like that’s a bad thing.’  I was Christian.  I grew up Pentecostal and then I was in the Evangelical church in High School. I just decided I’m gay.  There’s no getting around that anymore.  But maybe I can apologize to God every day and I can repent because if you sin you can apologize and God will forgive your sins.  I would wake up every morning and I would apologize and I still had this crush on this girl in theater and it was a total mind fuck and I remember feeling…I attempted suicide and I was really miserable.

Q: How did you overcome those intense feelings?

Mary Lambert: I prayed for the first time without a pastor facilitating it and I was like ‘this is what it feels like to be close to God.’  It is not someone telling me what I’s supposed to look like.  It’s me Feeling close to God in my own capacity. And with that sort of that closeness to God or my own spirituality I found that the doctrine is completely incorrect and misguided and horrible and I disagree with this and I am not a part of this anymore.

Q: What advice would you give to other teens who are contemplating suicide?

Mary Lambert: Talking is the most important thing. Everybody’s got baggage and everyone has something that’s hard for them to talk about.  Hopefully my art will be an invitation to dismantle a lot of the feelings of pain or loneliness because we find that we are actually much more connected when we are able to take off those masks.

Q: How do you reconnect with yourself?

Mary Lambert: I really like riding my bike.  I can’t be on my phone. I have to really be paying attention and I can be deep in thought.

Q: Who inspired you as a teen?

Mary Lambert: Jewel, I felt like I came from a similar background. A poor dysfunctional family. I was writing songs at a really young age, writing poetry, playing in coffee houses when I was 13 and I felt really connected to her.

Q: How would you describe your sense of style?

Mary Lambert: Fabulous!  It’s feminine.  I’m very feminine. I love dresses and I love things that just look – I know this is silly but things that look good, that are figure flattering that are fashion forward. I love flats, I love red lipstick, I love floral everything.  I want everything to be a beautiful flower.  If I could be a flower I think that would be amazing.

A US native (by way of a study detour in Sydney Australia), Raha Lewis is an influencer for all things fashion, pop culture and entertainment. A lawyer in her past life, who has written for publications such as the LA Times and People Magazine, Lewis is always on the latest news in the world of celebrity and is often seen touting exclusives on camera for the likes of E! News, Good Morning America and Showbiz Tonight. Her legal background anchors an innate analytic mindset, while her passion and have-fun-for-a-living attitude gives her the ability to provide telling insights on just about any subject matter. She extracts a unique reality in interviews because of her conversational free spirited interview style. She’s motivating, honest and reveals strengths in subjects that even they didn’t know they had.

She’s a content creator with a voice that speaks to the masses. And if she ends up at your dinner party, be prepared for a lot of laughter.

1 Comment

  1. dog food secrets review

    October 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM

    I needed to thank you for this great read!! I certainly loved every little bit of it.
    I have you bookmarked to check out new things you post…

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